Break-ups. Similar to other dreaded events such as laundry day, that weird uncle's family party and getting your teeth cleaned can be somewhat something that you more than likely want to avoid. Within discovering our newfound freedoms, spending extra quality time with our friends and catching up on who is in the single pool - sometimes those previous ex-partners can re-appear. Despite no one wanting to become the infamous on-and-off-again couple or get back with the 'toxic ex' - these situations are problematic to navigate while in a lake of doubt. Is it possible to restart and resume a relationship to what it once was? And how do we know what is right for us? And even more importantly, how do we know we're making the right decision?
Why did your relationship end in the first place?
There can be many aspects and reasons why your relationship ended and be a soft spot for couples to communicate. Factors such as money, infidelity, schedules, career goals, intimacy problems and poor communication can be a small crack opening to the end of your relationship. Or reasons such as a lack of friendship, physical distance between the couple or toxic or abusive behaviour. The odds can look like they're against us when the average relationship lasts around two years, and 70% of relationships fail within the first year. Relationships are built from the ground up with trust, communication and a commitment to be with only one another. Items such as a lack of friendship, long distance between one another and no emotional connection can be a long, arduous and draining experience - especially if the partner is non-conforming. But whatever your circumstances were, there are some pressing items to address if you want to move forward.
How would you go about getting get back together?
Depending on how much time has passed between when your relationship ends, the possibility of a new slate might seem impossible. However, with a leap of faith and open to the possibility of being denied, we can only put our best foot forward and hope they might feel the same way.
What wholly is the correct answer?
While we don't suggest or condone going back to someone involved in cheating, lying, violence or an isolating partner. Beginning again with an ex-partner could sustain an unhealthy cycle of codependency and remind you that some problems are not reconciliable and that returning to your relationship would be an emotionally heavy task.
There are occasionally exceptions to the rule: the feeling of unfinished business, a glimmer of hope for the future, or a shot to make up for the past can alternate our final decision-making. Potentially the relationship is fixable, both parties have changed for the better, and you can rebuild trust. Trial periods are a great way to test the waters and see what fits and what doesn't. Unfortunately, there is no guarantee of the consequences we might put ourselves in during these notions. But grand gestures and tokens of affection may seem dramatic when featured in leaving notes in letterboxes alike, Will from Good Will Hunting circa 1998 to 'see the girl'. All-in-all, unfinished business can feel like closure hasn't bubbled to the surface, but it's up to us to explore ourselves to find that out.
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