Often on a first date, we are nervous. As women, we spend way too long doing our hair and fixing our make-up, and as men complete pep talks in our bedroom mirror to psyche ourselves up. Excitement, timidness and exhilaration seem to tie together to create this strange mixed bag of emotions. We are excited to socialise and meet someone new but also frightened at the proposition of having a terrible date and utterly making a fool out of ourselves. Swirls of anxiety start to muster, and we wonder if it's too late to cancel at the last minute. But taking a chance on a date like coffee and a walk, or dinner and a movie are opportunities to lead to something incredible.
So what makes a great first date great? Is it the flow of conversation and the chemistry that seems to set alight when two people are together? Or the inside joke you made about the waiter that served you your food at the dinner table? We often want to present the best version of ourselves and create a long-lasting first impression. We spout our family history, our hopes, dreams and makes judgements on their answer to being a cat or dog person. We share intimacies like holding hands and taking a leap of faith when going in for the first kiss. All unexplained notions transpire, and we wonder who will text first after the date has ended.
What are the dangers to having a great first date? After we project our character and learn all about what our date does for a living and leisure. Then, there is the question of attraction. If we are attracted to our date, are the boxes on our checklist ticked to say that we've found the perfect partner? And where do we go from here to remain cool, calm and collected at the next meeting? The danger of the first date passing with flying colours can be climaxing prematurely. Therefore, diving into the infamous 'honeymoon phase'. There is pressure to seem complex, multidimensional and compelling. This pressure can come from holding onto the magic that the first date brings. We all crave an emotional connection, built on mutual respect and littered with heart-rendering fancies, but few are lucky to find it.
So how do we overcome the first date madness of nerves, potential unpleasant breath and that awkward phone call a few days later? Like most things in life, we practise getting better at them. We go out on more first dates and end up taking more risks. Risks like giving out our phone number to the cute guy sitting at the bar or agreeing to go on a blind date. As all steps forward are steps in the right direction. We shouldn't strive for perfection but search for the confidence we have instilled in ourselves. We shouldn't seek validation from others and instead, be satisfied with the opinion we keep of ourselves. However, the outcome of our first date whether heavenly or dreadful. We should leave the bar, restaurant or during the walk home knowing that every opportunity or possibility is still yet to come.
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